A Curmudgeon's Garden of Love by Jon Winokur

By Jon Winokur

A compilation of grouchy and hilarious quips and quotations which could make a fascinating bedside spouse for someone who has suffered the discomfiture of being in or out of affection. Such outspoken iconoclasts as Sigmund Freud and Woody Allen are quoted on subject matters similar to relationship and marriage.

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JEFF WEIGEL is an author, illustrator, and graphic designer who lives in Belleville, Illinois. He has been a frequent contributor to Image Comics’ Big Bang anthology, and is the author and illustrator of the children’s picture books Atomic Ace (He’s Just My Dad), Atomic Ace and the Robot Rampage, and the forthcoming graphic novel Thunder from the Sea. com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins author. ALSO BY MICHAEL P. SPRADLIN SPY GODDESS NOVELS Live and Let Shop To Hawaii, with Love SPY GODDESS MANGA The Chase for the Chalice The Quest for the Lance THE YOUNGEST TEMPLAR NOVELS Keeper of the Grail Trail of Fate PICTURE BOOKS The Legend of Blue Jacket Texas Rangers: Legendary Lawmen Daniel Boone’s Great Escape Credits Cover design by Milan Bozic Illustrations by Jeff Weigel Copyright IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE ZOMBIES!

Oh, ho, There’s poor Joe, hung where you can see. Somebody waits for you; Bite her once for me. Have a Jolly Zombie Christmas, And in case you lose your ears, Oh, by golly, Have a jolly Zombie Christmas this year. DECK THE HALLS WITH PARTS OF WALLY Sung to the tune of “Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly” Deck the halls with parts of Wally, Fa la la la la, la la la la. ’Tis the season for brains by golly, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Chew we now our friend’s gray matter, Fa la la, fa la la, la la la.

Thou and I will see them dine; They even bite through leather. Free and screaming, forth they went, Zombies right behind them, Through the poor souls’ wild lament. Bitter brains are better. HAVE YOURSELF A MEDULLA OBLONGATA Sung to the tune of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” Have yourself a medulla oblongata! Let’s eat something light. Have you tried, The hippocampus? It’s out of sight! Have yourself a medulla oblongata! Make the Yuletide gray, From now on, We’ll just eat frontal lobes all day.

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