Call Me Russell by Russell Peters

By Russell Peters

Up-close, own, and definite, funny — this can be the must-have megastar memoir of the year.

This candid, first-person memoir chronicles Russell's existence from his humble beginnings in suburbia as a scrawny, brown, bullied child with upload the entire technique to his outstanding upward thrust as one of many world's top-earning comics. this can be a shockingly sincere e-book jam-packed with poignant stories of his kinfolk, his existence and his occupation. Call Me Russell is a deeply inspirational tale for aspiring artists of any tradition approximately having desire, operating tough and dreaming big.

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Sample text

Around 5 days. What were Diana’s last words? ‘Have you been dri-’ 33 The Bumper b3ta Book of Sick Jokes 34 SICK JOKES Celebrity and news events In the news How long does it take after a major disaster for the jokes to start coming? About 5 minutes we reckon… What’s red and white and swims on its side? The Herald of Free Enterprise. What have The Herald of Free Enterprise and a condom got in common? They’re both roll-on roll-off and they’re both full of dead seamen. Why is Concorde so expensive?

The little old man jumps up again and shouts, ‘No, no, play a Jazz chord, play a Jazz chord’. A bit ticked off by this, Stevie, being the professional that he is, dives straight into a jazz improvisation with his band around the B flat minor chord and really tears the place apart. The crowd goes wild with this impromptu show of his technical expertise. The little old man jumps up again, ‘No, no. Play a Jazz chord, play a Jazz chord’. Well and truly outraged that this little guy doesn’t seem to appreciate his playing ability, Stevie says to him from the stage, ‘OK smart ass.

Who can say. Meanwhile, some people just sat in the pub making mocking jokes. Here is what they said. Why was Diana drunk on the night of the crash? She had a couple of pints of Carling in her. Why did Princess Diana have a Mercedes? She wouldn’t be seen dead in a Skoda. Why did Elton John sing at Princess Diana’s funeral? Because he was the only queen that gave a fuck. 29 The Bumper b3ta Book of Sick Jokes What was the difference between Princess Di’s driver and George Best? George Best could take corners pissed.

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