Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need by Dave Barry

By Dave Barry

TAKE YOUR commute guidance FROM DAVE BARRY,
A man who's relatively GONE!
Complete with maps, histories, old fashioned neighborhood proof (France's nationwide undies altering Day is March 12), music lyrics, necessary tricks on find out how to get via Customs (all bugs has to be spayed), and tidbits from Dave Barry's personal fond holiday nightmares, DAVE BARRY'S basically commute advisor YOU'LL EVER desire is simply that. You'll locate every little thing you want to be aware of during this enormously accomplished reference, including:
- Air trip (Or: Why Birds by no means glance actually Relaxed)
- touring as a relatives (Or: No, we aren't There Yet)
- touring in Europe ("Excuse me! the place is the large Mona Lisa?")
- camping out: Nature's manner of marketing the hotel Industry

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So when we travel, she packs many, many items. She buys these giant suitcases, manufactured by shipbuilders, and she packs them with items for every conceivable contingency. Like, if we're going someplace in the tropics, she'll naturally pack an entire set of lightweight outfits, but she'll also pack an entire set of medium-weight outfits, in case we have a cool snap; and a set of heavy outfits, in case we get locked inside a meat freezer; and a waffle iron, in case we get hungry for waffles while we're in there; and so on.

RESPONSE OF NORMAL HUMAN: Where? RESPONSE OF OTHER CHILD IN BACKSEAT: So what? ") STATEMENT OF CHILD: I like this song. RESPONSE OF NORMAL HUMAN: That's nice. RESPONSE OF OTHER CHILD IN BACKSEAT: So what? ") STATEMENT OF CHILD: In a right triangle, the square of the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides. RESPONSE OF NORMAL HUMAN: That is correct. RESPONSE OF OTHER CHILD IN BACKSEAT: You suck. One way to try to reduce the hostility level is to keep the children amused with Traditional Fun Car Games, such as watching for other cars' license plates and seeing who can find the one from the most distant state.

A lot of people never even figure out how to cash them. WORKING WITH A TRAVEL AGENT You should definitely have a travel agent. Why go through all the hassle of dealing with airlines, hotels, and rental-car agencies yourself, only to see the arrangements get all screwed up, when with just a single phone call you can have a trained professional screw them up for you? No, seriously, travel agents are wonderful. At least mine is. Her name is Ramona, and I'd literally be lost without her. 50 per ounce) in my hair, and in a disoriented panic I'll call Ramona, and we'll have the following conversation: ME: Where am I?

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