Diana In Heaven: The Dead Princess Diaries by Andy Dawson

By Andy Dawson

A diary from the Queen Of Hearts, charting her growth within the afterlife, according to the wildly renowned @DianaInHeaven Twitter account.

Follow a yr in Diana's existence as she plots to seduce Jimi Hendrix, is baffled through the innovations of Michael Jackson, reminisces approximately her time in the world and enjoys spending time along with her robotic Jade Goody.

Contains VERY robust language.

Sample entries...

12th MARCH
Oh, simply examine negative, negative Steve Irwin. nonetheless hasn’t come to phrases with personal tragic, freakish loss of life. Doesn’t set foot out of his pod except he’s received his vulcanised rubber burka on and trudges round parping on a klaxon and thrashing a tennis racket at somebody and whatever that is going close to him.

It’s ok Steve, you’re in Heaven mate – no jellyfish can damage you currently. Be nonetheless my child.

20th JUNE
Best needs in this big day to the fathers of my youngsters. Er, father, I intended father. As in just one. received that?

ASIN B004YKWX0M

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Extra resources for Diana In Heaven: The Dead Princess Diaries

Sample text

A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own. pmd 30 31/08/2006, 11:39 THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES What do you call a quiet chav? A corpse. pmd 31 31/08/2006, 11:39 THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES Why do chavs wear hoodies? Because they’re too pissed for buttons. pmd 32 31/08/2006, 11:39 THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES What do chav kids get for Christmas? Your bike. pmd 33 31/08/2006, 11:39 THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES What are the worst three years of a chav’s life? School. pmd 34 31/08/2006, 11:39 THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES Two chavs jump off a cliff: who hits the ground first?

To get their stuff back. pmd 44 31/08/2006, 11:39 THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES What do a chavette and an ice hockey player have in common? They both change their pads after three periods. pmd 45 31/08/2006, 11:39 THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES Why do chavs steal mobile phones? Because they’re too puny to carry plasma TVs. pmd 46 31/08/2006, 11:39 THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES Why do chavs eat junk food all day? So they can take bubble baths at night. pmd 47 31/08/2006, 11:39 THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES What’s the chav equivalent of a fortune cookie?

Your bike. pmd 33 31/08/2006, 11:39 THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES What are the worst three years of a chav’s life? School. pmd 34 31/08/2006, 11:39 THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES Two chavs jump off a cliff: who hits the ground first? Who cares? pmd 35 31/08/2006, 11:39 THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES Why did god create orgasms? So chavs know when to stop. pmd 36 31/08/2006, 11:39 THE LITTLE BOOK OF CHAV JOKES How many chavs does it take to have a bath? Five. One to lie in the tub and four to spit on him.

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